Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Ultimate Fruitcake Recipe

All this talk of dry fruitcake make me pine for days of yore when I would help Grandma make fruitcake.. The following recipe is meant to be fun and add a chuckle to your day.....

You will need the following... a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking powder, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts and a bottle of whiskey.
Directions.... Sample the whiskey to check for quality... Take one large bowl... Check the whiskey again...just to be sure it was the highest quality.... pour one level cup and drink.... Then Repeat... Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a fluffy bowl... Add one teaspoon sugar and beat again... Make sure the whiskey is still ok. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer... Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit... Mix on the turner.... If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriver... Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity... Next sift two cups salt, or something... Who cares... Check out the whiskey... Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts... Add one table.. Spoon of sugar or something... Whatever you can find...
Grease the oven... Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner... Throw the bowl out the window... Check the whiskey again and go to bed.....

All kidding aside fruitcake has been apart of festive celebrations for years.... At one time fruitcake was considered semi-sacred, with laws in place in Europe until the end of the 18th Century that restricted it's making to celebrations such as Christmas, Easter and weddings....
I have never personally made a fruitcake as it is not my favorite of things... I don't drink and this was not tented to promote drinking... rather just for a chuckle as we sure can use one from time to time.......

6 comments:

Julie said...

Love this, Marietta! I'm not a fruitcake lover, nor do I drink, either--but what a good chuckle! Thanks for sharing this!

The Victorian Parlor said...

Marietta,

That is so funny! I am not a fan of fruitcake but one of my co-workers is a French chef on the side and prepares the most delectable fruit cake I have ever eaten. Everyone waits all year for her to bring in her famous fruit cake.

BTW, love the new banner!

Blessings,

Kim

Laurie said...

I remember reading this before ~ it's so cute. Actually my Nana used to make a really good fruitcake. It must have been good because I even liked it as a child!
I haven't ever made one myself, I know no one here would touch it with a ten foot pole!
Hugs))

Heather ~Pretty Petals said...

he he he!!! So cute Marietta. I don't eat fruitcake but I can say I don't think I have had a REAL homemade one before... just those yicky ones from the local store.

Xoxo

Cathy K said...

Cute post, Marietta. We're not fruitcake lovers, either. In fact, DH has a theory that there are only 12 fruitcakes in the world, and they just keep getting re-gifted to other people, LOL. Last Christmas season I worked at a national bookstore, and one of the gifts was a rubber fruitcake in a box. The idea was that you might as well save the baking time and give a rubber one (touted as "just as good as Grandma's!"). LOL. Hugs, Cathy

MySkinConcierge said...

Lovely post this Holiday Season too!